In the early days, Will would ramp up much more slowly when he was hungry, phasing between: "I think I am waking up .. . yes, I am awake . . .whaaa.. . I think I am hungry. Yes, I am definitely hungry. WHAAAH . . .I am starving--Where's my lunch??!! Where's my dinner??! Where's my hassinpheffer?!!!"
And then things would progress to "WhaaaHHHaaaa! (imagine an angry ashmatic billy goat)", and then would escalate to "WAANNNNNNYOWL (imagine an enraged cat in heat)". Now he is so loud that a parent can't think, never the less hear what the other parent is saying. The final crescendo is babyesse for "I am either going to vomit, or cough up my lungs which will both fall down to the floor and flip about like goldfish out of water, or just plain die because I am soooooo hungry". (These days, Will goes straight from "I am awake" to "here come my lungs, ready or not").
Now the bears and other creatures were both awed and terrified by these outbursts. And they had learned, through observation, that the infamous "binkie" was the only temporary method for decreasing this increadiable "growling". It was decided amongst them that one brave creature must volunteer to help the binkie stay in Will's mouth while Mom or Dad made the bottle and warmed it up. "Fuzz that Wazz" Bear volunteered. You see, Fuzz that Wazz is a lovely little bear from Mary Meyer's "earthfriends" collection--he is entirely made from recycled plastic bottles. And too cute to boot.
So Fuzz that Wazz stepped up to a screaming Will (who was about to loose the bazillionth binkie that day) and literally put his paw where Will's mouth was. This proved to be of great assistance. . . however . . .
At that very same feeding's diaper change time, as that brave little bear waited patiently for a small sign of gratitude on Will's part, Will spit up all over Fuzz That Wazz--right in the face-- point blank.
Needless to say, FTW is now going through some intense post traumatic stress disorder therapy. He has agreed to come back and serve as binkie anchor, but only under the following conditions:
1. He gets hazard pay
2. He gets rocked while being feed a 4 oz. bottle of honey twice daily.
3. He gets to wear a hazmat suit when dealing with the baby. . . . he thinks the yellow one would look the best on him.